Advice from a new Dad

Well I did it! I have kept a child alive for almost 5 months. Shocked…impressed…I am, to tell you the truth. I can’t remember the last time I held a child before Charly. I have held a watermelon if that’s close enough. It’s the same thing right? About the same size and weight and you thump them to tell if they are ripe. You can tell I was very prepared for this whole fatherhood thing.  I know everyone is thinking, “at least Holli is there to keep things straight.” And it’s a good thing too, who knows where we would be without her. So I thought I would throw out some basic advice to other new or soon to be fathers.

Source

Advice #:1 Breathe…
So you’re a new Dad.  Just take a moment to relax. Life is not going to be the same. It won’t be worse, just different. You can’t just go out and do whatever you want whenever you want anymore. For some men who would rather just stay home and not go out, this gives you the perfect excuse. For others, it takes time to adjust.



Advice #2: Your child’s scream will never be music to your ears…
I don’t care what people tell you. A screaming child is obnoxious. Just thinking about it makes me anxious.



Advice #3: Off button…
A Binky is the closest thing to an off button. It’s not a guarantee, but always worth a try. Bless the man/woman who invented it!

Advice #4: Kids are not rational…
You can throw reason and logic out the window when dealing with your child. One second she is laughing the next she is crying. I just don’t get it!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI8ybD9WOeo]



Advice #5: Try counting to 4…
When trying to calm down your child try counting to 4. 1 – Does she need to be changed? 2 – Does she need to eat? 3 – Does she need to sleep? 4 – Give her to her Mother. Works every time!



Advice #6: Never shake a burning baby…
You should never shake a baby…even if they’re on fire. It’s never happened to me, but thought you should know.


Sorry folks, no picture for this one!


Advice #7: Babies are cougar bait…
Try walking through Macy’s on a weekday and tell me how many 40+ woman come up and talk to you. You will draw a large crowd of middle aged woman. They are ravenous and will attack. I’m sure if you are in the mountains your baby may also attract real cougars.


BMW Photography

Advice #8: Remember the Boy Scout Motto…
Be prepared my friends! I have an equation of how much extra time you need to get ready and out the door with a baby. Take the total minutes (hours) it takes your wife to get ready in the morning. Multiply that by two and add an additional half hour. That should give you enough time. Preparation is the key to any outing. You need to pack diapers, burp cloths, extra changes of clothes, toys, books…and the list goes on. Also, be prepared for your child to spit up and/or poop right before or right after you leave. It’s inevitable.






Advice #9: Worship the ground your wife walks on…
She is the one that does all the hard work. You may take the baby for a half hour or so while your wife tries to relax, but really she is the one doing all the dirty work. So you better spoil her.






Advice #10: Enjoy being a father…
There is nothing better than when your child falls asleep on your chest, bath time, when you first come home from work and she gets all excited, or when she is asleep in your arms. Just enjoy being a father.